“I am assured in my ambivalence regarding children.”

Tauni, 35, USA

I am 35 years old, and my partner is trans nonbinary. We cannot biologically have children. In the past I have wanted children in heteronormative relationships. After these relationships did not work for me, I most recently considered single motherhood by choice before ultimately decided that this was not the route for me either.

Children have never fit in my life. I think life just happened, and I never got pregnant. I am assured in my ambivalence regarding children. Sometimes I think about foster care, but I haven’t made any steps towards that. I am coming to terms with the fact that I will likely not have biological children, and I am okay with that.

I don’t have the family support I would want to raise a child. I am concerned about our sociopolitical and environmental climates. I have a lot of student debt that thankfully will be paid off with Public Service Loan Forgiveness through the work that I do as an occupational therapist serving Indigenous People in the United States. I am more than happy to work on wealth building and be that well off, adventurous, if a little eccentric auntie.

My decision not to prioritize children has meant that I could pursue a career in helping others while becoming the first person in my family that I am aware of to get a clinical doctorate. I am also breaking out of many cycles of trauma and poverty. I am looking forward to my 40th birthday where I will be in Paris, drinking champagne and eating delicious food in the most beautiful clothes imaginable!