My husband and I are reaching the conclusion that we most likely will remain childfree. It has been such a difficult realization that every reason we felt we should have kids was imposed on us.
I remember constantly hearing my parents pity elderly people at our church who didn’t have children. I always wondered why. I worked in healthcare, and spent more time with seniors then most of their children ever did. My sister told me outright she will be upset if I don’t have children.
I have often felt that my role as a sister and daughter hinges on my ability to provide grandchildren/nieces/nephews. But who will be up all night? Who will spend a lifetime feeding, clothing, and navigating motherhood? It seems incredibly beautiful, and I’m sure it is at times, but it comes with incredible sacrifice.
I feel I could be fulfilled in so many other ways: my marriage, my friendships, my career; without loosing myself in the process. We married young and see it as this great opportunity to have that many more years of adventures together. But everyone else seems to think it means we will start a family early. My family already feels complete, how do children make a family?
I feel so much frustration and sadness, that I will be that person that people pity and assume I am longing for children I don’t have. Or that I don’t like their kids because I chose not to have any. But the frustration is far outweighed by this relief – a weight sliding off my chest. I am free to live a deep and fulfilling life with my partner, free from the pressures and stress of motherhood!