WE ARE CHILDFREE

I am from the countryside in Austria. Most people at my age have a house, are married and have kids now.

I‘ve always been “different“ and decided in my twenties to put my focus on traveling and studying. I loved it. And I still do. I always thought I had time, that one day I will be part of the “normal” world.

One day I came across the book “Living the Life Unexpected“ and I read it. It woke me up. Made me realise that maybe this is it. I will never have kids. And it hit me at first. I cried. For a while. But then it was over.

When I say this out loud most people say, “but you still could have children!” and here I am. Knowing deep down that the answer will remain no. Two things keep me from this. First of all I don‘t have a partner and without I am not interested in becoming a mother. Secondly, and this is probably the main reason, I do not want to become a mother.

It feels weird to say this because I am so used to the concept of a house, man, kids – it is such a strong feeling inside me, and in my community, saying it out loud always feels like I am announcing I plan to fly to the moon. And at the same time – I feel relieved. Realising this, accepting this and saying it out loud – it opened a whole new world. I can do and I can be anything I ever wanted. No more pressure in trying to fit in.

And if people still tell me, “but you can still have it“ – I smile and firmly tell them to stop right there, no more fake politeness from my side. It is none of their business and in explaining myself I only feed their mindset.

But for me it is different now. I am already everything I ever wanted to be. And with my decision and accepting it I have all the freedom I ever wanted. A part of me wishes I would have known this earlier and at the same time – I feel like I always have known.