I am 100% childfree, both by choice and by circumstance. I never really wanted children – most likely because I realized in my teens that not everyone is really cut out to be parents… for example, my own parents. My mother had 4 children and probably didn’t really need to have… any, although I’m glad I’m here. :)
I suffered from very painful menstrual periods starting in my mid-teens. I knew endometriosis ran on my dad’s side of the family – my grandma had a hysterectomy at age 32 for her severe endometriosis and that was well before the condition was widely understood and discussed. In my mid-20s I finally found relief, after dozens of doctors referred me for mental health counseling or wanted to put me on prescription meds, or even suggested I have a baby to “cure” the endometriosis. A specialist discovered I was dealing with both endometriosis AND adenomyosis – still thought to be rare in young women who had never been pregnant – and I had a hysterectomy along with endometriosis excision.
And you know what? That was the best health decision I’ve ever made. I got my life back and I’ve never looked back – and I don’t have a child I would have regretted having to care for.
These days, my “child” is my music career. I’ve had a few people who don’t know my history tell me to put off having kids til I’m done touring and I always say that my music is my kid, so no worries there. Being childfree allows me to plan my life based on how I want to live it and I’ve got the freedom to tour, to record, and to spend money and time making music instead of taking care of a child.
I’ve never once regretted my surgery, and I was also extremely fortunate to find a partner who also doesn’t want children. I was always up front about not wanting kids when I was young, and not being physically able to have them post-op, and that was a dealbreaker for a handful of people. I’m lucky now my partner and I have two fur-babies and a very quiet, peaceful, chill home where we can do what we want, when we want.
I do hang out with friends’ children, and I teach some music lessons, so I get to spend time with children on my own terms. Kids can be really awesome and creative, and I love that time I spend with them – and I love not having full responsibility for their entire lives.