WE ARE CHILDFREE

“I always thought I’d be a father but that’s not how life turned out.”

Rob, 46, New Zealand

I’m 46 and have accepted childlessness since age 39. I had a hernia at age 1 which left me infertile but I didn’t know it til age 33. I always thought I’d be a father but that’s not how life turned out. We tried to adopt children but after 5 years in Australia, where it is a very difficult, expensive process, we had to give up after both Thailand and Columbia terminated their inter-country adoption program.

I am an accomplished marathon swimmer and Ironman triathlete. Since accepting childlessness, I have swam the 256 km Clutha River in New Zealand – an unprecedented marathon swim – and am working on other unique adventure triathlons and marathon swims.

I decided to write a book called Downriver Nomad: A Triathlete’s Adventures and Adversities into the Rapids, which deals extensively with childlessness, but also dealing with an alcoholic father as a teenager while I was finding my feet in triathlon and marathon swimming. It culminates with the Clutha River Swim.