“You don’t have to have kids if you don’t truly want to.”


Now I’m in my early 40s I’m super content with my choice to be childfree, but it’s not always been an easy road.

I married young when I was 29 (still young in my eyes!) and the subject of kids was never really on our radar at that time. We were busy partying, travelling, working etc. At the time I didn’t want children and assumed that I would wake up one day and have a kind of “lightbulb moment” when my womb would ache and my desire for children would kick in. 

By the time I got to my mid 30s I still had no urge and whilst my friends around me were getting pregnant left, right and centre including my twin sister, I still had no desire. Suddenly there was this pressure from friends and family, “it’ll be you two next”, “wait till you have kids, you’ll know the meaning of tired!” etc. The pressure came from my ex-husband too. He started to worry about us leaving it too late but I reminded him that it was my body and mind and if I wasn’t ready then I wasn’t ready. Our marriage started to suffer and we started to bicker over the smallest things. We separated when I was 37 and at that point he really wanted to have a baby whereas I was the complete opposite. We just couldn’t carry on the marriage with our different wants in life. He assumed I would change my mind about children eventually and so did I.

I’m happily divorced now and in a new relationship with someone who also doesn’t want children. We’re both runners and want to run a marathon one day which in my eyes will be my “baby”, the biggest achievement of my life. If you take anything from my story always stay true to yourself and never have children to please your partner! You don’t have to have kids if you don’t truly want to.