“I’m currently on a path to try to unpick my own mind.”


Thank you for making this page and raising the voices of childfree people.

I read a lot about people who have always known a childfree life was their destiny. I haven’t read too many accounts of people in my position.

I was raised thinking that I would have kids. It’s what all the adults I had known did. I didn’t even realise it was a choice till I met my current partner 13 years ago. He was also the person who introduced me to the idea of people adopting for ethical reasons (as I’d assumed it’s what people who couldn’t conceive did).

For my partner the decision to not procreate has always been crystal clear. Whereas for me I always thought I would, and if I’d have spent 13 years with a different person I probably would have.

I love my partner, he’s my best friend and I genuinely love our life together. I’ve always been aware that if I became broody I’d have to leave him, which is just crushing. What I struggle with is knowing if the decision to not have children is my own. Or if it’s my partner’s. Or if the decision for me to have children was given to me by my parents/society.

All I can really know is that I’m not broody right now. But I just cant know for certain how I’ll feel in 10 years. I do have times when I have pangs of grief for a life I’ll never have (and at darker times anxiety about my old age and severe guilt for not providing our families with children).

I don’t particularly like babies/children so this helps the situation, I’m always more comfortable in the company of animals.

I’m currently on a path to try to unpick my own mind. I feel like childfree is the life for me – and if broodiness ever happens and I cant ignore it I’ll explore adoption/fostering/community work.

Just wanted to share my experience as I feel like it’s one that I don’t seem to come across much and it’s felt quite a lonely position to be in.

I’m trying to engage with the childfree community to understand it more, hear view points, hear from elderly childfree voices. Just wanted to thank you for creating this page and helping me on this journey.