WE ARE CHILDFREE

I’ll be 53 in a month, and I also don’t regret it.

When I was young, I thought I’d have kids, but it was an abstract concept at that point. At around 20-21 I had more little kids around me. My boyfriend’s sister had kids, and a couple of our friends started having babies.

I realized there was NOTHING about this that in any way, shape, or form, that interested me, even though I was studying for a career working with kids and was excited about my career. In fact, pregnancy and childrearing turned me off completely. For me, in trying to explain it, I sometimes simply say that the thought of being unable to put on my shoes and go out the door for something as simple as a container of milk caused such anxiety and distress in me. I couldn’t imagine having this living, breathing creature so dependent that I couldn’t leave the house. Forget about morning soccer games in yucky weather, amusement parks, recitals, etc. UGH.

I have pets, and even with them, I sometimes tease when it’s meal time, “Didn’t I feed you yesterday, go away!” But at least I can leave dogs and cats home and run out for a minute! And they typically don’t complain and ask for chicken nuggets for the hundredth time.

I have never regretted my decision. I enjoy my friends’ kids in moderation, most of whom are pretty grown by now.

I’m a psychologist, I work with kids, and really adore teenagers – they’re a hoot to work with, and it’s very rewarding to work with kids that age. I’ve had kids cry on my shoulder, buy me Christmas gifts, make me cards and pictures, etc. I’m important in their lives without having given birth to them. When I worked in a school, the kids would sometimes call me their “Mommy at school.” To me, that was very very sweet. Works for me. I get to do what I want, when I want and not feel I’m pulled in a million directions.

Currently, I’m president of my state professional organization, which I doubt I would have time for if I was taking care of kids. I was president of my county organization for 5 years. I’ve sat on boards throughout my career. I am an amateur equestrian as well as an amateur photographer. And I’ve traveled all over the world.

No worries, ladies – if it’s the right decision for you, you won’t regret it.