I am so completely in love with my life. I have never made a conscious decision not to have children, in the same way I’ve never made a conscious decision not to be an astronaut. It just never entered my head. My boyfriend is also childfree by choice and we’re very happy. I also have amazing friends, an exciting career, I am doing a full time degree alongside a full time job and have lots of hobbies including as much international travel as possible.
When I got into my mid twenties and started to know a lot more parents, I noticed they would talk about their kids as extensions of their own personality. Asking them what they were doing at the weekend and they’d say “taking Sasha to dance then Oscar has a party and we’ll probably just do soft play on Sunday”. I was so happy for them that they had these little people they wanted to hang out with. But I also knew I’d rather do anything at the weekend than sit in a soft play or drive some tiny kids around. I want to drive myself around to do all the things I want to do! And some people will say that’s selfish, but the only selfish choice would be to have kids then not enjoy it and not want to help them or look after them. That’s all too common.
I don’t feel pressure or have kids but I do feel pressured to caveat my decision by saying that I like children. In all honesty I can’t say that’s true. I accept that children have to exist. That I was one. That other people will dedicate their lives to their kids. But for me I’d rather avoid them.
Using my time and resources and money to do whatever I want is amazing and while I have problems and ailments like anyone else I would say I have a perfect life. The prospect of retiring in my fifties and continuing to have undisturbed lazy mornings with my boyfriend and spontaneous nights out with my friends and a neat and tidy house where the spare room is my creative space is just brilliant. Choosing to have children would be choosing to sacrifice so much and I am entirely confident I’ve made the right choice.