“It is a lonely existence, but I have no regrets.”


I am a mature woman who is childfree by choice. I have never wanted children, never had 1 second thought or doubt that motherhood was not for me.

I just never had the draw to motherhood. I valued my freedom and independence too much to sacrifice, had no desire to be responsible for another’s life, suffered from anxiety and depression I would never want to give to another and that would leave me ill equipped to care for myself let alone another, suffered from a lifetime of debilitating migraines that often made me bed-ridden and unable to care for another.

As a feminist, I hated the imbalance of childrearing responsibilities other women seemed willing to take on and the sacrifice that entailed while men were rarely so negatively affected. I saw the demands on the woman’s time, career, mental and physical health, social life, freedoms. I saw the physical toll pregnancy took on women, some whose health never fully recovered to their pre-motherhood state. I saw the loss of sleep necessary for full body and mind healing.

I lost my first love due to my decision. I was rejected because I would not procreate and was immediately replaced by another woman willing to use her uterus to bear his children.

I lost friends to motherhood as their children and husbands demanded all of their energy, time, and focus.

I was told by a male doctor that I should have a hysterectomy because I wasn’t using my uterus to have children anyway.

So this path I took is a lonely and difficult one. But it was not a choice really; it was how I was wired and to take any other path just to fit into society and have female friends would mean not aligning with my true self or nature.

I have traveled, I have a career, and I have freedom to sleep, eat, or do whatever, whenever, for however long I want. I can soak for hours in the tub whereas the only bath many mothers know involves rubber ducks and baby shampoo.

It is a lonely existence, but I have no regrets.