WE ARE CHILDFREE

“I am now 75, have never changed my mind and have never even had a broody moment.”

Anonymous

I have always known that I did not want children. In my twenties I asked my GP and Family Planning Clinic if I could be sterilised but was told I would change my mind. I am now 75, have never changed my mind and have never even had a broody moment.

Am I selfish? No. I became aware of human population overgrowth and the consequent damage to the environment sometime in my twenties. To add to this overgrowth regardless of that damage would be selfish.

Am I career obsessed? No. I have always worked, always tried to do a good job but work was for income, enjoyment, to be useful and for social contact not something to obsess about.

Happily married for 35 years to a man who already had one son, both are lovely human beings. I now have cancer and the future is uncertain. I examine my past decisions and actions but not for a moment do I regret my choice to remain childfree.

At my all-girl grammar school the top career choices subtly suggested were – 1) be a nun, 2) be a mother, 3) teach. They were crap choices then and my childfree status allows me to see that there are still powerful pressures on women to bear children. We are allowed to be professionals and have careers now but still only if we half kill ourselves by having children as well.

I don’t exist to work, I don’t exist to consume and I don’t exist to procreate. I am enough.