I have always yo-yoed with the idea of having children, always assuming I would want them ‘some day’. Now I’m approaching my 30’s I have begun to accept I simply cannot see children in my future.
My 20’s have been different to what I had originally imagined. Due to a difficult break up while I was at university, I have struggled with low confidence. This lack of confidence has meant that I haven’t always fully embraced opportunities and an element of fear has held me back from building the life I want. I am incredibly fortunate to have met my fiancé who supports me and encourages me to grow. I am now becoming the person I was always meant to be – I am exploring my creativity, I am working on myself, and I am pushing myself out of my comfort zone each and every day.
Having a child would alter my path permanently. For some people, that’s part of their journey. But it’s not mine – and besides, I’m only just getting started! I feel life is so short and I need all the time I can get to achieve my goals.
In addition to this, I work in the environment sector and as a consequence, climate change is never far from my mind. I am concerned for those younger than me, facing this challenge and feel I couldn’t bring a child into a world with such an uncertain future.
I am lucky that my fiancé shares the same views as me. We have closed the door on biological children, however it is reassuring to know that we can foster or adopt later in our lives if we feel the ‘pull’. But right now, I’m simply looking forward to continuing my journey and seeing where my life takes me!