“My lifestyle is a blessing.”


As I was scrolling through my social media account while recovering from a 2km jog, most of the friends around my age are either about to become a mother or on their way to their second baby.

I can’t believe that I am already 30 years old and still living my life as a single woman who has no interest in motherhood at all. Even as a little kid, I was that one girl who is much more interested in Barbie than baby dolls. I never felt excited being around babies all my life, and my relatives and my own sister thought that I was a weird person. Even when some people are talking about having “baby fever”, I cringe instead of feeling happy.

That’s the thing about being childfree as a Muslim in Malaysia – people around me always say that I will change my mind one day when I find the right guy, and that being a mother is a must for every woman in a patriarchal belief. I have no interest in both having a relationship and being a mother. I am just fine living my life, practicing Muay Thai three times a week and walk/jogging long-distance on Saturdays and Sundays.

Being childfree means that I don’t need to be in a more burdening financial state. Even as a single person, I have student loans and car/motorcycle instalments that take the majority of my earnings. Because of my childfree lifestyle, I can just laze on my bed scrolling through social media after a training session without having to take care of other people. I personally hate being a caretaker and spending time with others, so I feel like my lifestyle is a blessing.

Plus, I was raised by a single mother who had to sacrifice everything in her life just to take care of me and my two siblings. She used to travel extensively abroad as a single woman but had to be a stay-at-home mother after marriage. I never want to be like her at all. I want to prioritise myself first before anyone else.