When I was about 21, the sister of my boyfriend at the time, who was 28 then, had a baby. I remember thinking that I couldn’t imagine having a child at this point but surely, once being her age, things would have changed – or would they?
A fair few reasons made me decide not to have kids. First of all, I was just never drawn to them at all. I never wanted to hold babies or thought that they were cute. Instead, I would positively freak out about puppies or kittens (I still do :))
Then, there are a few practical reasons. I don’t enjoy playing with children. I don’t like cooking. I don’t like playing taxi driver. I need a lot of sleep. And lastly, the thought of watching my child’s soccer game with other parents makes me cringe.
Fast forward, I’m 38 now. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 6+ years, and we’re planning on living childfree happily ever after :)
He was never into kids to begin with, but his male colleagues ranting about their children and their lives at home only deepened the decision.
I’m incredibly fortunate to have open-minded parents who never expected me to have kids. I’m generally lucky not to have the family- or societal pressure everyone is talking about (or even know what it’s like).
The only thing I’m sad about is that I’ve lost most of my “mom-friends” to their kids over the years. I know it’s a two-way street, but it’s difficult for me to keep a friendship with someone who loses any interest in life outside their child and motherhood.
One of those friends once told me I should have children since “good people like me should have more children, and I’d be a good mom.” And the thing is that I’m pretty sure I would be a good mom, and I see it the same way.
At the same time, it’s the last thing I want in life for all the reasons mentioned above. I prefer giving my time, energy, and money to other causes I care about. Such as animal welfare or our environment.