WE ARE CHILDFREE

At 58, I am relishing the freedom of choosing to be childfree. There truly has never been a moment of regret or really even wondering, “What if?”

I went on the pill as soon as I became sexually active, because I knew I don’t want to be pregnant in college. Back in the 1980s, even in the state of Texas I had access to great affordable reproductive care at Planned Parenthood.

With my first serious boyfriend, I was clear that, should birth control fail, I would be getting an abortion. Then grad school came, and still no time or desire for kids.

Once I got my PhD, I realized that it wasn’t just timing that kept me avoiding pregnancy. I just had ZERO desire to be pregnant, go through childbirth, or even raise an adopted child. None.

I have an older sister and several older cousins, and I watched how their lives and their identities changed when they had kids (plus the grime, and the noise, and the expense, and the worry). None of it looked like anything I’d welcome into my life.

I am very fortunate that my conservative, Catholic, LatinX/Italian parents never once pressured me to have kids.

My innate personality is to accept that this is what’s right for me, and I know how lucky that is. My partner and I frequently discuss how we would not have the comfortable, adventurous life we have if we’d had kids. For us, we can’t think of many positives children would have brought.