WE ARE CHILDFREE

My no-baby shower started as a joke. A riff on the Sex and the City episode when Carrie registers for shoes after hers go missing at a friend’s baby shower. I gave it a sarcastic laugh, but my friend said, “I’m throwing one for you.”

I admit, I wasn’t fully on board at first. A no-baby shower involved loudly putting myself out there, and it felt like I would put friendships on the line to do it. Would my child-having friends be offended by this? When I floated it by them though, they were immediately in.

And so, the no-baby shower was born. I spent weeks agonizing over the registry – how do I ask my loved ones to invest in my childfree life like they would if I were having a baby? What emerged were gifts for pet and plant care, travel, home, hobbies, and community support. I had no idea what the response would be when the invitations went out.

I arrived at the shower and was overwhelmed by what my friends had done and how many people came. There were flowers, food, drinks, games, a guestbook, and notes to leave me a self-care tip. The evening made a huge impact on me.

Being childfree can be isolating at times and it’s important to feel the community around you. What I learned is that people are ready to show up for you, it’s just that society doesn’t always have a pre-fit mould to do it in. But, with a little creativity, humour, courage, and a lot of love, we can create new moulds.

I hope no-baby showers catch on and we celebrate the lives of childfree people as often as we do others.