WE ARE CHILDFREE

As a woman married to a man, too often has my reply to ‘Do you have children’ been transformed from a simple ‘No’ to ‘Not yet’. Parents often then move on to share advice on child-bearing, all because I said ‘Yes I’m married’. It is simply assumed as the whole objective of marriage.

I know fellow childfree people who actually like children. I’m not one of them.

So it is tough to see the office hold ‘bring your kids to work’ events, and it is why I tend to give ‘family days’ a miss. And because it is particularly expected that ‘all women would love children’, I find it that bit more difficult to make female friends.

The stigma has affected my job search too. Many engineering companies are reluctant to hire women, so it wasn’t surprising to hear ‘we are not looking to hire women’. What added insult to injury was when the hiring manager felt the need to explain that ‘if you get pregnant, it will affect you working here’.

What I hope this campaign can do is reach the Asian side of the world. This is a region where many still face immense pressure from society and family members to ‘fit in’. People can get so worried about ‘saving face’, about maintaining a superficial image that it hurts real relationships or makes it near impossible to build them.

Difficult topics like this are often swept under the carpet, which is the very reason I want this change.