“As more childfree women share their stories, I hope society will grant us the respect to own our bodies and our lives.”
Many women, including most of my friends, have known that they wanted to be mothers since childhood. Then there is the small percentage who realise that motherhood is not for them. For the rest of us, the decision is more nuanced.
But it can be hard to tune into our desires when the right-wing press pumps out alarmist headlines (‘Any woman who says she’s happy to be childless is a liar or a fool’ shouts the Daily Mail). Sorry JD Vance, but neither I nor my childfree peers are liars, fools, crazy cat ladies or any other negative term that is slapped on women who don’t conform to misogynistic and pro-natalist prejudices.
Had I chosen to become a mother, I’m pretty certain that I’d be unhappy most of the time. Of course I’d love my child, but as an introvert, I know that I would feel exhausted and overwhelmed. Ann Patchett sums up my feelings exactly when she writes ‘Part of not wanting children has always been the certainty that I didn’t have the energy for it… I lacked the units of energy, and the energy I had, I wanted to spend on my work.’
At 43, I am at my most confident and content. I love the life I have created, with my husband, stepkids, family, friends and pets. I get to write, travel and take naps without guilt. Far from being selfish, my childfree life means I have time to volunteer. I know that my decision not to have kids was the right one.
As more childfree women share their stories, I hope society will grant us the respect to own our bodies and our lives.
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We need your story! With your help, we can change how the world sees childfree people, and more importantly, how we see ourselves. Add your voice to the global childfree movement by sharing your story today.
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