WE ARE CHILDFREE

I never owned a doll and didn’t like wearing dresses. Around age 6 or 7 I told my mom that when I saw babies, I didn’t want to have one, I just wanted to spank them. To this day, I have no idea where that came from, because I’ve never spanked a child in my life. But it might have been a early clue, yes?

Just before my 35th birthday, I knew time was running out. My sister had kids I adored, and I figured it was now or never. Then I discovered I had erred and I was approaching my 34th birthday. I was gigantically relieved. I felt I’d been given a blessed reprieve and could continue to procrastinate. Another clue.

When my (ex-)husband and I did make an effort at pregnancy, we were both tested and cleared for takeoff. Unprotected sex did not produce a pregnancy within a year, so the next step was daily temperature taking, with choreographed sex at optimum times. I clearly remember thinking it was all way more trouble than I cared to undergo in order to have a child. And immediately I realised that if THIS was too much trouble for me, caring for an actual child was not in my wheelhouse.

My current husband (we met in our 60s) has never been married and has no children, so we share a remarkably freedom-filled life. We travel when we like and I do professional dog-sitting in my clients’ home. I have very strong friendships with women friends, a number of whom I met during my newspaper career. Quite a few are childfree as well.