WE ARE CHILDFREE

Sharing my childfree story has been a dream since I discovered this incredible community. Over the past 2–3 years, your stories, insights, and support have given me so much confidence in my decision to remain childfree. This space has made me feel seen, heard, and connected, and I hope my journey resonates with someone out there too.

I go by the alias Hekaya Haven online—it’s a little nod to my creative side as a content creator and podcaster. I value my privacy but also love engaging authentically in spaces like this.

I am childfree by choice. Growing up as the youngest in a family of four, I never really interacted with younger children. They felt foreign to me, and I didn’t develop a natural liking for them. Even as a teenager, when my sibling had kids, I found myself easily irritable and impatient around children. Motherhood simply never factored into my dreams. I envisioned studying abroad, building a career, and even possibly getting married—but the idea of having children never resonated with me.

This realisation became more defined as I grew older. My cultural environment often portrayed childless women as unhappy, bitter, or regretful in their old age. Yet, the thought of motherhood felt stifling and misaligned with the life I hoped to create—a life filled with freedom, self-discovery, and fulfilment.

At 20, I faced an unplanned pregnancy. It was a terrifying and deeply unsettling experience. I felt completely disconnected from the life growing inside me. I knew instantly that I didn’t want to become a mother, and with the support of my then-partner, I chose to have an abortion.

That experience solidified my decision to remain childfree. It confirmed for me that motherhood was not something I wanted or could emotionally handle. At the time, I didn’t have the vocabulary or community to articulate my choice, but the feelings were clear.

It wasn’t until a few years later that I stumbled upon the term “childfree.” Seeing women proudly owning their decision not to have children was transformative. It was a turning point where I finally felt validated and empowered to embrace my truth. This community has been a part of that journey, and I’m so grateful for it.

Now, six years later, I am happily childfree and working towards getting my tubes tied by 28! This decision has opened up so many opportunities in my life:

• I’ve taken time to heal from personal traumas and focus on my mental health.
• I’ve pursued my career and passions without the pressure of fitting into societal timelines.
• I’ve built meaningful relationships and found friends who are also childfree, creating a supportive network.
• I’ve been able to be a present and supportive caregiver for my siblings’ kids, stepping in when needed, without the overwhelming responsibility of being a parent myself.

There’s so much joy and freedom in knowing my life is truly mine to shape. My 30s feel like an exciting horizon filled with travel, personal growth, and creative pursuits.

Being childfree doesn’t mean I’m anti-children—it means I value living a life that aligns with my authentic self. I love supporting parents in my community and showing up when they need help. I also believe that choosing not to have children has allowed me to be a better, more grounded person for myself and those around me.

Thank you for allowing me to share my journey. This community has been a beacon of strength, and I’m honoured to contribute my story.