WE ARE CHILDFREE

I’m a lawyer focusing on animal protection, I’m married and never in my life have I wished to have children.

Even as a little girl, I didn’t like to play with baby dolls and push strollers, I preferred Barbies who had their own house, car, and career and a man who worshipped them :)

But just because I do not dream about having biological children, it doesn’t mean that there isn’t an instinct to nurture and care in me. I feel it very strongly towards animals who look for safety and comfort in me, just like I look for safety and comfort in them. With so many sentient beings on this planet searching for motherly love, the last thing I feel necessary is bringing my own child into this world just because they would carry my DNA.

This year I was diagnosed with autism, which explained why I never feel comfortable around children and why I am very often overwhelmed in their presence (which is not me blaming them for being children but this is simply how my body reacts). On the other hand, I think my autism is one of the reasons why I understand animals so well and why I create such strong connections with them.

I used to be told (and sometimes I still am) that I would change my mind, just like every other childfree woman. But I always knew that I felt as strongly about not having children as many women feel about having them. I fully believe women when they tell me they are happy with their choice and that having children gave them a purpose. But there is no salvation motherhood would bring me, I have already found my purpose and there is no space for children in my life.

By being childfree, I can pursue my dreams and live the life I am truly meant for. I can give my time, energy, and money to animals who are already here and who deserve a better life than what they were born into, instead of bringing yet another human into the world whose future is unsure due to the climate crisis.

I often think of my female ancestors and of everything they had to give up to fulfil the roles that were expected of them. Maybe among them was a woman just like me who would be happy to see me be in charge of my own life and choose for myself.