“I’m not willing to do things any more that go against my inner authority.”

Ali, 34, UK

I have only decided to be childfree over the last couple of years.

Me and my wife both wanted kids at one stage. My wife got pregnant in 2020 but had a miscarriage.

I have since done a lot of inner healing work, processing through past trauma and conditioning (family upbringing, religious ideology, chronic health issues) and through that process I realised I didn’t desire to have kids anymore. I’m not willing to do things any more that go against my inner authority and I believe that having kids should be something that you want and desire strongly enough to take on the responsibility that comes with it.

It would be so easy for me to rationalise why I’m childfree: living with a chronic illness, financial pressures, the state of the world, etc. I also read some books from a range of different people sharing their reasons for being childfree. But when it came down to it, my reason is that I simply don’t have the desire to have kids.

Now when I see parents with kids I think to myself either, “They’re cute but I’m glad I don’t have my own”, or “Wow they look a handful I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with that”.

I currently spend my time looking after my health, gradually recovering from my chronic illness. Working on my business that helps men overcome their own family and religious conditioning. Pursuing various creative outlets and spending time with my wife, eating good food, having deep conversations and exploring the world.

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