“As I got older and the feeling never came I was really worried there was something wrong with me.”
I think I always knew deep deep down. Anytime I thought of being a mother, it filled me with doom and anxiety.
I was so conditioned to believe that I was going to wake up and want kids. I watched so many friends become broody and I just couldn’t relate, but always thought “it will come some day”.
I honestly looked forward to wanting kids, I genuinely didn’t consider another path. As I got older and the feeling never came I was really worried there was something wrong with me.
Until one day a friend so casually said “Well I’m not having children”, in the middle of a conversation. I felt so light and excited at the idea of saying that out loud.
That was about 15 years ago, and I have tentatively grown in the direction that is right for me. I am now in a 7 year relationship and getting married in 2 weeks, and I am so grateful to meet someone who wants the same things as me (mainly dogs!).
It’s taken me a long time, but finding communities like We are Childfree, and reading and listening to stories and unpacking it over and over in therapy, I can now say it loud and proud that “I CHOOSE TO BE CHILDFREE!”
I celebrate it the same way people to do a pregnancy, because I honestly feel like I am as happy about this decision. I am being true to myself and I know parenthood is not for me.
I work with homeless teenagers who come from shitty homes so I have nothing but respect for how important the job of a parent is. I have been told that I have put more thought into not being parent than most do into having kids.
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