WE ARE CHILDFREE

Where have you been all my life?!? Ha! It’s a rarity to meet other childfree people! Hi!!!

I’m not sure if I ever “decided.” It seems like maybe it was “just in the cards.”

At a young age, my mother didn’t let me hold other people’s babies unless I was seated; she was afraid I’d drop them. I internalized her story to become mine: you will not be a good mother because you will drop your babies.

Then, I married a guy who I’d come to find out was cheating on me during what would’ve been my peak child-rearing years. So that was a crushing blow.

A few years later, he died, and I was so profoundly grateful that we’d never had kids because they would never have to deal with the death of their father. When he died, he set me free from the chains of marriage that continued to exist after the adultery.

Fast forward to now… on a rare occasion, I’ll feel like I missed out on the mothering thing. But then I look at all the other ways I’ve “procreated,” and given life to so many others through what I do and who I am.