WE ARE CHILDFREE

Having attended the World Childless Festival in September 2024, it became apparent fairly quickly that I was one of a handful of people of colour in attendance.

I recall discussing this with one of the event organisers. Within their many years of working with the childless and childfree community, they lamented that people of colour were reticent
to come forward – not only with sharing their stories, but also in seeking support.

Many voices and experiences of childlessness, and/or being childfree, are unfortunately, we discussed, as such, left unheard. I would hazard to say that this experience was a catalyst for me to want to do more. On reflection, for myself, as a woman of South Asian heritage, the factuality of this I have felt, and continue to feel keenly.

From many a year ago when navigating infertility treatment, to myself today, a women who is confident in their childfree choice, I have seldom met others who, in the simplest of terms, look like me let alone those that may have a similar lived cultural experience to me also. The
majority of infertility events and support groups I have attended and even those that I still frequent today, are, akin to the World Childless Festival, principally white in attendance and delivery.

Not long after the festival, I decided, therefore, to venture on a journey to ‘put myself out there’ publicly as not only a person who is childless, but of more significance to me, to put myself out there as a childless person of colour who is of South Asian heritage.

Although appreciative of the growing number of excellent platforms out there supporting the
voice of those of us of colour, I feel there is a risk that the ‘undifferentiation’ the term ‘childless people of colour’ carries could inadvertently marginalise. In many ways this broad categorisation does certainly provide a level of solidarity and of course aims to highlight
that the lived experiences of those childless / childfree people of colour may be impacted by their cultural heritage and this I fathom is not just great, it is brilliant and must continue. It doesn’t, however, for myself personally, quite go far enough to encourage others like me
to open-up, seek support or to simply connect. There is something so essentially accessible and encouraging about seeing someone who looks like you expressing their personal story.

And as such, in part, I made the decision to get myself onto public platforms as a South Asian
childless women, where representation can feel particularly sparse, to advocate for others who may be traversing similar challenges. It is important to explore the possible reasons behind this under representation for South Asians.

The challenges of being childless or childfree are numerous, and identifying as childless or childfree is not easy to do. The additional layer of being childless or childfree as a person of colour, and then as a South Asian where representation is modest, is something I am keen to delve further into and become involved with.

A step towards this is simply being visible and adding my own ‘two-cents’ as it were, or should I say ‘two-pennies’ or ‘two-rupees’ even, to an albeit small but growing group of South Asians publicly doing so and out there already.