WE ARE CHILDFREE

I always thought I was just very weak at dealing with pain.

I often suffered badly with my periods most years since they began and often missed out on events and social activities like friends birthdays, family get togethers, etc when the bleeding was too heavy or pain too unbearable.

I received my diagnosis of Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) and suspected Endometriosis back in December 2022. After more than once ending up in Accident and Emergency with suicidal ideation, and discussing the options available to me with the clinic consultant at a later appointment, I was put on the waiting list for a full hysterectomy.

I’m currently signed off unfit for work as the fatigue and brain fog is so difficult to manage. It’s now November 2024 and I’m still waiting for an operation date while at risk of losing my current job.

I haven’t ever felt like I needed to have my own children I just never had that maternal desire, and I feel strongly that this option is the right one for me. I see that as a gift from God to help me deal with this whole process better than perhaps somebody who was desiring their own children.

I’m looking forward to beyond surgery in the hope of accomplishing so much which is helping me get through the agonising wait. I’m grateful for the love and support I have from my family, my boyfriend and my friends and of course my cat! but ultimately I’m grateful for the freedom I have knowing that I won’t have the responsibility of bringing a child into the world, it’s never appealed to me and I’m at peace with that.