My partner and I are fully decided on being childfree. He’s had a vasectomy, and we are very happy with that decision.
I have never had a maternal urge for children and have never related to the desires that my friends seemed to have for having kids one day. I had grown up with the understanding that I would eventually have children, as that’s what was expected, but never felt excited about it.
In my mid-twenties, as my relationship started getting more serious, I would become anxious at the thought of eventually becoming pregnant, so started exploring the option of not having kids. Thankfully, resources were starting to become available online at the time with articles being printed about women who had chosen not to have kids, or who had regretted having children, which made me feel less alone and helped me realize that I should listen to my instincts on this one. I also struggle with depression and anxiety and need a lot of time to myself to work through those issues; I believe that introducing children into the mix would have made for a very tough situation.
My partner feels the same way and we have no regrets. We love our life with our dog; being able to sleep in on weekends, not having the massive financial burden that comes with children, being able to go on holiday at any time of year and not having to think of kid-friendly activities… It’s great! Our friends are all starting to have babies and we can love on their kids without having all of the responsibility. My partner’s family were a bit difficult with our decision to have a vasectomy, but are understanding now. My parents were sad to not become grandparents, but after some frank and open discussions about the matter are also understanding.