I started out childfree by choice – I have known since I was a kid that I did not want to have children of my own. Living in the southern United States, my decision never went over well. People scoffed at my answer to “when are you going to have kids?” like I personally offended them.
At present, I am still childfree by choice, as well as by my own health needs. I suffered with terrible endometriosis, recurrent ovarian cysts that sometimes required surgery, and a large uterine fibroid that caused significant pain 24/7.
I fought for years in my twenties to find a doctor willing to help me, but was always told “you’re too young to make that decision. What if you get married and change your mind? We have to preserve your fertility.” Because MY health clearly didn’t matter compared to a nonexistent future child.
I finally found a doctor that would listen to me, and had a total laparoscopic assisted vaginal hysterectomy at age 30. It was the BEST decision of my life. And I have a partner who has stuck by my side through it all and doesn’t want children either. Now we feel like we really can both live our best lives and truly enjoy one another and all the adventures we will continue to go on until we grow old together, without the financial, emotional, or physical stress of having a child.
Some call us selfish, I call us selfless. We get to focus on each other with no distractions and there’s nothing more beautiful than that.