Two months ago, at the age of 29, I was finally sterilized after years of searching for a doctor who would perform a bilateral salpingectomy. It took 4 tries, but here I am!
It’s been 8 weeks post-op and I can’t believe the amount of anxiety that has been lifted off of me. The only word I can use to describe my feelings is RELIEF!
I think there are a lot of misconceptions around childfree people. People ask me why I hate children. I don’t hate children – I love children! Chances are at a party with my friends, you’ll find me in the backyard digging for worms with the kids or chasing them around while they squeal. Kids are amazing and creative and hilarious. They have a lot to teach us. I love spending time with the kids in my life, but that doesn’t mean I want kids of my own.
I’m often told ‘but you would be a great mother!’ and my response is always ‘I know!’ I would be a great mother and my husband would be a great father. But that doesn’t negate the fact that we don’t want to live our lives for other people — we want to live our lives for ourselves and each other. We love our freedom and spontaneity far too much to give it up to caring for children for 18+ years.
Are there times I wonder what could have been or feel like I’m missing out on those ‘Kodak’ moments of parenting? Sure, of course! But then I pull out my book, take a sip of tea, pet my dog in my quiet, cozy house and I realize that my peace is worth more than anything parenting could ever offer.