WE ARE CHILDFREE

Last year when I moved to Buenos Aires I had a full self-immersive deep dive into myself. One of the main discoveries is accepting that I truly don’t want to have children of my own. First I have never ever been very maternal. I rarely played with plastic babies and disliked role-playing.

I preferred Barbies who were empowered, had their own homes, their careers, their boyfriends. I loved and wanted to be like the fab aunt in Barbie’s The Nutcracker movie (2001) – she traveled a lot, and had many ” chongos” all over the world. Wonderfully, the same has been for me.

Second, I have never really wanted kids, unlike other female friends who actively worked and looked for a partner, the children, and the home.

Third, my thesis is about climate change economics: the state of the world is at its worst. Children are exposed nowadays to horrible things – climate change, sickness, gruesome content in social media, that as a parent is impossible to protect them from and is going to get worst.

Fourth, I like children, they are the sweetest. But I don’t feel emotionally equipped to raise one. In my life I have battled with eating disorders, emotional neglect, loneliness, and anxiety throughout my life. Although, I have worked my ass off in therapy to be at the place of peace I am today, I fear it has left me scared for life. I worry about being a bad fit, to neglect them, and misunderstand them emotionally (like it happened to me) and unnecessary hurt their feelings or repeat patterns.