WE ARE CHILDFREE

I’m single and have been contemplating the idea of having kids.

I grew up in a traditional household where it was assumed I would procreate. But I never wanted kids and felt pressured to make decisions based on what was the norm, rather than what I wanted.

I have realised that as someone who has been traumatised by situations where I had no autonomy, this is now super important to me as an adult. To make decisions for myself and be independent. Having children pushes you in the opposite direction.

Mental health should be a major consideration when making this choice and so many people don’t realise the toll that having children when you are in a bad mental space – on you and on them. I am happy to not have children and conform, knowing that my mental health is an important priority for me going forward.

Sometimes people call you selfish for putting yourself first – but as someone who was raised by a mentally unwell parent – I don’t want to bring someone into the world knowing they will spend the rest of their life in therapy (like me). That’s a pretty selfish decision to bring someone into the world knowing that you will cost them their mental health long-term but doing it anyway.

Shout out to all those people who understand their mental health and live their lives prioritising it in a world where there is so much abuse. End the cycle!