While I may be human childfree, I’m a proud dog mom!
When I was a kid, like many girls I’d play house and have imaginary kids (usually girls, and often twins…clearly, I didn’t know what I was thinking). I’m not sure how or why I started consider living a childfree life, but I remember that as early as high school I would say that I wanted 0 or 2 kids – joking that my first kid would be an accident and the second would be planned. As an only child, I (almost) always wanted a sibling. As I grew older, the desire for a sibling grew, so I knew that if I gave birth once I’d most certainly plan a second pregnancy.
I was single for a long time and didn’t date much before meeting my partner. I had long decided that I didn’t have a desire for kids, but bought into society’s “you’ll change your mind when you meet the right guy.” I loved the idea of being an aunt, but didn’t get equally excited about the prospect of having kids of my own.
Six months into my relationship with my now husband, we had the Talk. He eventually wanted to have kids, but wasn’t sold on marriage. I eventually wanted to get married, but wasn’t sold on kids. I asked whether if when he was ready for kids, if I still wasn’t (or was certain I never wanted any) if it would be a dealbreaker. He said no. He asked a similar question of me, and I said no.
While we never had a “real” conversation about it again, neither one of us would pressure the other into anything.
Four years into our relationship we adopted our first furbaby. Three years later we got our second. And less than a year ago we got married. We don’t feel like anything is missing from our life. Our dogs are our children. We have a full life.
I used to get angry when people would ask about kids. Eventually, I stopped caring, because I do see that as a getting to know you type question as certain relationships deepen. The question itself stopped bugging me, but the follow-up questions or comments are more of the frustration.
I’m not sure why I don’t want kids, but that’s OK. And it’s time for society to accept that.