“Women are called egotistical because they want to enjoy their lives without compromising.”

Julia, 40, Germany

I come from a Slavic culture where motherhood is not a question or choice but a matter of course. When I was eight, my family and I had to leave our country and I grew up in Austria, where my identity and mentality was formed.

I knew very early that I did not want to have any children. It was not a conscious thought that popped up at some point, it was more of an idea that spread slowly until it became something tangible for me. This happened only recently, I would say a few years ago. I started dating men with kids and I realized that I do not want that. I neither want other peoples´ kids around me nor my own ones.

I never had the urge to become a mother but all I heard from friends, relatives and strangers was, “one day you will change your mind”, “you have not found the right partner yet” or similar things. None of it applies to me. I enjoy being free, traveling, moving to different places whenever I feel like it. I enjoy spending my money just on myself or my friends, making plans just for me and my schedule alone. It makes me really mad when women who do not want kids, are being talked down to or given a bad conscience.

When women are called egotistic because they want to enjoy their lives without compromising. If one really wants children, there is always the possibility of adoption. The world is full of children who have lost their parents, have been abandoned or given away for adoption. But most people want to pass on their genes and that is where the egotism comes into play in my opinion.

I became pregnant once and it was crystal clear to me that I want to get rid of it as soon as possible. I am so grateful that I live in a time and a place where abortion is not only possible but also not frowned upon. But in how many parts of the world the opposite is the case? In how many countries it is even regarded and prosecuted as murder! It can not be that in 2022 women still do not have the sole say when it comes to their reproduction rights!