“At first you were conditioned to want what society wants you to have.”

Lisa, 30, Canada

Of course, when you’re growing up, you’re young and you don’t know much about the world out there. So at first you were conditioned to want what society wants you to have.

Want an example? I can give you one.

Growing up in the church, I learned many things about Jesus and his followers and other stories in the Bible. One of the things that is most mentioned at a certain point was the saying “be fruitful and multiply.” It’s basically believed that Jesus encourages reproduction.

Growing up in the church all I heard was “when you have kids of your own” this and “you would make such a good mom” that. But as I got older, it was the more that I realized that I had a choice in the matter.

I was 20 years old when I started seeing doctors about a tubal ligation. Of course the first five doctors that I had seen were female and unfortunately, they all denied me what I was gunning after.

I finally got a chance to see a male doctor and he asked me if I was doing this for selfish reasons. And of course I told him no, because I really did not see myself in a position to have a child.

Now, as a 30 year old woman, I can say that being childfree was the best decision I had ever made. Yes, it’s hard to find a man that has the same mindset but at the same time I prefer to be alone. This way, I do not ever have to worry about a man changing his mind as to whether or not he wants children.