“I could only find one or two reasons for having children, a lot against.”

Kathi, 29, Germany

Three years ago a good friend of mine asked me why I wanted to have kids someday.

At this time she worked in a facility for “difficult-to-educate girls”. These girls were taken away from their families because they were subjected to (sexual) abuse or mistreatment. So her opinion on the issue of having kids or not was a little different than mine anyway.

I was wondering about her question but then I started to realize, that I have no answer to it.

From then on I started reflecting. I was reading a lot and was listening to podcasts, and suddenly it was so clear to me that I want to live a life without kids.

I wrote down all the pros and cons in a very rational way (I knew that the decision to have children is not only an emotional one). I could only find one or two reasons for, a lot against having children.

The one reason that finally convinced me completely was the confrontation with myself. I am a very introverted and sensitive person. I need a lot of time for myself, I need the silence, I need space and freedom to decide what is good for me. I load my batteries while being on my own, reading, while being in nature or travelling.

As an introvert and sensitive person having children would suck all my energy I have, with nearly no possibility to reload it.