“The one thing that breaks my heart it that I won’t make my mother a grandmother.”

Marijke, 42, Germany

I stumbled across WAC on Instagram and love the vibe. It’s not the cynical, mean, childfree content I saw before, but empowering and inspiring stories.

I am childfree by choice now, even though I had phases when I was thinking a lot about my decision. When I was 25, I felt a mostly intuitive urge to have a baby (I felt like I had to calm a baby whenever I heard one crying), but I knew that my financial situation with my partner then would not allow me to be the parent I wanted to be. Speaking of my partner back then, and looking back, I knew already deep inside that he would not be the father I wanted for my child due to his own family trauma.

I started to study at university in my late 20s and ever since then the idea of having a baby started to disappear. I traveled the world, and grew so much during that time. I knew that my partner wanted children and this became a huge topic in fights. I started to work, fell in love with someone new and broke up with my partner after 13 years of living together. I don’t regret it at all, it was the best decision I made during the last decade.

But the one thing that breaks my heart it that I won’t make my mother a grandmother. We have a very close bond but she has a hard time to accept her fate. The greatest thing I experienced is her love. I tried to make her realize that I would not be the person I am – the person that she loves – if I had a child.

Nevertheless, I love my life, I did so my things I would not have been able to do with a kid.