WE ARE CHILDFREE

I’m 32 years old and from Belgium. I married my husband 2 years ago and we have a lovely home together. We are questioning whether or not to have a child.

We both grew up in a family with parents with a high IQ and lot of ASD (autism spectrum disorder) characteristics. I had a a mother who was on edge a lot and a father who was mostly absent and didn’t even bother to be at my birthday parties, because he didn’t like a bunch of children running around. My husband experienced a childhood with parents who had a very low tolerance and were quick to throw a punch.

We both have a high IQ and ASD characteristics. On the one hand, we love children, but on the other hand, we find it difficult to deal with unexpected changes. So we don’t know if having a child is a good idea. We absolutely want to avoid making the same mistakes as our own parents. If we have one we want to give it everything we didn’t and we don’t know if we are capable of that. We can’t imagine how having a child would affect us. That’s why we are in doubt.

We will have a puppy soon and are waiting to see what effect this has on us.

We are very happy now and wonder if a child would contribute to our happiness or would make us bump up against our limits of what we are able to handle. We feel it is a very important question to ask ourselves.

We will see what the future holds for us and take it one step at a time.