“I’m not someone who chose this, but I am someone who has settled into a life circumstance and decided to own it.”

Donna, 40, USA

I did want kids. I wanted them badly. Every negative pregnancy test felt like someone had died.

Several years passed and I just did not feel that desire anymore over time. It wasn’t intentional. It just happened.

I’m not sorry I don’t have kids today, in fact I’m glad I don’t. I enjoy my life— a lot! I have a fabulous career and a doctorate that I don’t think I’d have otherwise.

So maybe I’m not someone who chose this in the beginning, but I am someone who has very comfortably settled into a life circumstance and decided to own it.

So when people call me selfish for not wanting kids, it’s so ignorant—because they have no idea the grief I suffered, and no respect for the fact I decided to turn that into happiness instead.

If you have biological children, then you also do not understand lifelong infertility (sorry not sorry). And those of who live there in that space absolutely have a right to be happy anyway, and not live the life of regret and emptiness that so many people with kids want to impose on us.