“I’m good not because someone chooses me, but because I’m the way I am.”
I’m a 41-year-old Japanese woman.
I’m single and I don’t have a partner. I got a divorce when I was 30. I haven’t thought of being single right now, because, in Japan, it is still ‘normal’, to marry, especially for woman.
I’m a dietitian at a nursing home. My coworker often tells me, ‘It is very good to be a parent, for a care worker to take care of the old. It is that people who take care and raise children can understand the way he or her feels and be tolerant of anything that one does.’
But what about parents who abuse kids? There are a some who even kill a baby!
‘You don’t know, because you don’t have children.’ I can’t say anything to that, I just keep quiet.
I tried to get pregnant through in vitro fertilisation, as my body clock is ticking.
But is it bad to be alone? Am I too unattractive to be with? And is it my fault? Young women find it easy to find partners in Japan. Am I valueless any more?? I rethink having a baby. I wanted a baby not because I love children but because I was ashamed of being alone and not being chosen by anybody.
I’m good not because someone chooses me, but because I’m the way I am. I want to connect to someone who is free from stigma.
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