“Having/not having kids is a choice and it’s very personal.”


Since I was young kids were never my top priority. My goals were having partner to grow old with and traveling around the world.

But where I come from (Indonesia), people are always asking personal questions during friendly talks (which is not friendly in my opinion, we called it “BASABASI”) Such as, “when will you marry”, “your clock is ticking”, “if you have a kid – WHEN you have a kid – you will feel that you’re 100% a real woman” (so i’m not real LOL), or, “come on – at least one kid” (kinda funny people asking me to do this – will they help/support me financially or socially when I’m having a baby, duhh).

But lately these questions have been irritating because why do people with kids seem to think their lives are so perfect and want to put the idea to others’ lives. On the other side childfree people never question them about why they have kids, regret etc.

Having/not having kids is a choice and it’s very personal.

My POV, children are a blessing and having them means huge responsibilities which lots of us still doesn’t understand. We must ready MENTALLY and FINANCIALLY. We must put kids on the top priority above our personal needs in every aspect (short and long term). So many circumstances to be considered.

My circle of family, friends and coworkers who have kids have lots of issues in their life – complaining about life, cheating, divorce, health issues, financial issues, sexual problems, etc. Well that’s life, and those things are a part of the life we chose (for good and bad).

Their comments are a bit sarcastic, such as ‘you travel a lot because you have no baggage, because you have lots of money’ Tbh, I just laugh because I see this as a jealousy.

I’m not 100% settled on a life with NO kids but they’re just not my top priority. I’m happy where I am now. Be happy with whatever you choose and don’t put the IDEA of your life to others. Because everyone is different.