Today marks Day 1 post-op for my tubal litigation! (Woo!)
As someone who is extremely ambitious, protective of my space, time and energy, there are a million reasons I didn’t want kids.
When I turned 18 and the fantasy we grow up dreaming of wore off (the husband, two kids and white picket fence) I knew it wasn’t the life I wanted to lead. I spoke to my family doctor that year and asked him to mark it down in my file: “I want it noted that we’ve discussed this,” I said regarding tubal litigation surgery, “So that way when I’m fully prepared and ready, I don’t have to fight for what I want.”
Fast forward 9 years. I’ve spent 13 years on birth control that is mixing up my hormones and putting me at a high risk for blood clots. I was ready for the change I’ve wanted for so long. My partner supported me, my family didn’t truly, but had many years to accept they wouldn’t be getting grandbabies from me. And so my journey began.
I was fully aware of all of the alternatives and my partner even offered to get a vasectomy instead. But this was MY journey and MY choice from almost a decade before, and I wanted to so badly for ME.
Yes, there was grief. I didn’t expect to grieve this life I knew I didn’t want to live, but was closing the door to. I postponed the surgery and took time to process this grief until I was able to truly understand it. I am so glad I did. Yes, I got lots of questions, but I was educated. Confident. Ready. And now I am free ❤️