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“I was relieved that my mind hadn’t changed and that I could place trust in my own decisions.”
Watching my friends having children during my 20s I realized that the whole idea of becoming a parent simply was nothing I would ever aspire to experience. Still, with the cliché of the “biological clock” ticking (and having partners that wanted children) I told myself I would wait with my final decision until I was 35.
With my current partner I was clear from the start about my position, and it hasn’t been an issue. Being with him I had almost forgotten about my vow. That’s why the scale of relief I felt when I realized I had reached that point hit me with surprise. I was relieved that my mind hadn’t changed and that I could place trust in my own decisions, but more than that I felt a huge burden taken away from me.
There is a whole bunch of reasons why I do not want children. The first being my independence and freedom as something I have come to value very highly. Others include my financial security and the impact that being pregnant, giving birth and raising a kid would have on my mental health and my body. I don’t particularly enjoy spending time with children which I suppose you should if you are considering having children.
I am worried about the future and I personally consider it irresponsible to put children in a world that’s already overpopulated and facing problems that may not be solved in time.
But most of all I just do not see myself as a mother. I am many things and I look forward to being even more in the future, but being a parent just isn’t among them.
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