Though it’s been more than a year, I am still grieving a breakup that was a result of my decision to be childfree.
I grew up in a culture where I was conditioned to believe that my goal is to be a wife and a mother. For 30 years, I wanted that too. I don’t know exactly when, but I realized that I didn’t want children. I wasn’t financially ready, and most importantly, I didn’t want to sacrifice my freedom to accommodate children.
For a year and a half, I dated somebody who shared my passion for climbing, outdoors and travelling but we had different views about kids. In the beginning, I tried to accommodate their needs as I was in love with them. However, as the relationship progressed, I started feeling UNDERVALUED. I felt disposable if I didn’t want kids. They were hoping that I would change my mind, but they never considered changing their mind. I felt rejected and was extremely heartbroken when we broke up!!
As I was trying to heal and accept the fact that we both wanted different things, I learned they were married to someone else. They got married less than 10 months after our break-up. Hearing that confirmed that I was disposable, and they probably didn’t love me. Although I am still grieving, I am grateful that I didn’t change my mind to have kids to appease them. I know they wouldn’t do the same for me.
Their purpose in my life was to cement my belief that I want to be childfree, and I shouldn’t consider changing my decision for ABSOLUTELY anyone.