WE ARE CHILDFREE

About 50 years after deciding to be childfree, I have never had one moment of regret.

My decision to have a vasectomy was based on a large number of factors but confirmed when I flatted in London in 1976 with an old schoolmate and his wife, who was just pregnant. Being there for the whole process, including pacing up and down the hospital corridor, till about 6 months after the baby was born, did it for me.

My GP back in New Zealand insisted I talk to a colleague as their form had a space for a wife’s signature. Being single, my application was unique for the practice. I started to write a book – “Positively not a Parent”. One reason omitted from my list – even grandchildren can be a concern or worse, these days.

My reasons have not changed. The environment continues to deteriorate, the world population is too large and now, global warming . Disagreement over parenting methods is troubling and divorce is now common producing more conflict sharing the offspring. For a couple or single person there’s more time for oneself and no extra financial demands, which never stop. There is no future benefit only a permanent worry.

Rarely mentioned are the three reasons why humankind had children in the past: contraception was unreliable, children worked for the family and they provided care for their parents when old.

These reasons are no longer valid in the west.

As a golf-playing architect who has visited dozens of countries, happily-married for nearly 40 years – no regrets.