“It’s the quiet freedoms that make a childfree life a good one.”


I’m 35 and childfree and I’m not sure if that will change. I can’t say that I’ve ruled having children in or out completely, but the older I get, the more likely it seems that I’ll stay this way. I’m becoming more and more OK with that.

But just as the pressure to become a mother begins to ease, I feel a new one creeping in.

The version of a childfree life I hear about most is one with wonderful freedoms like a great career, going wherever, whenever, and having time for a variety of projects and hobbies.

As much as I think that’s great, I find it important to remind myself that if I’m not career-driven, don’t travel the world or have a side hustle, I’m not wasting this “opportunity” for freedom or living a less-valid version of a childfree life.

Both my partner and I have stressful jobs and busy lives and it’s the quiet freedoms I’m afforded – like snuggling up on the sofa with my dog for hours and watching some crap tv – that make me think a childfree life is a good one.

As a cis-het woman, it feels like society is always ready to say you’re not living your life in the right way. I refuse to feel invalidated because I’m not a mother so I must also refuse to feel invalidated because I live a childfree life in the way that suits me.