WE ARE CHILDFREE

I’ve known since childhood that being a parent was not in the cards for me. I was adopted from Guatemala, so I’ve always known that you don’t need to be biologically related to be a family. When my friends played house, I sat it out. My step-siblings had children, and I wanted nothing to do with it.

I was 13 when I learned what “getting your tubes tied” meant and I knew that it was something I wanted. I did research all throughout high school and decided that by the time I was 21, I would have the procedure done.

I was 17 when I met my previous partner. I told him on our second date that I’ve never wanted children and I never would; if that was something he wanted, I was not the girl for him. We were still kids ourselves, so I’m sure my certainty took him by surprise. Over the course of our three year relationship, he repeatedly assured me he didn’t want them either. Yet, he quietly expected me to change my mind. When I didn’t, he was out. I turned 20, started talking to my doctor about the procedure, and it was over.

When he left, I was devastated, but all the more determined to do it. Thankfully, my doctor approved the surgery and I had my tubes tied a few months after my 21st birthday. I’m 22 now and accomplishing things I never thought possible. I have a new lease on life and the most phenomenal support system. The worst heartbreak of my life turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. After everything, I never lost who I am and that is the most important aspect of all.